69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
