you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
