Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
