I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
