just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
