i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
