I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
