What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
