uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
