dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
