Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
