i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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