He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
