On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
