she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
