Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
