Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I understand Curling. That high.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
