A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
