I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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