I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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