i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
