Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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