I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
