he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
