you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
