the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
