high people should be assigned attendants
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
