I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i just google imaged poop.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
