found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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