I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he shaved USA in his pubs
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
