My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
