My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
