I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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