we have pet lesbian snakes
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
