Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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