so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
