Christians are straight up FREAKS
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
