that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
