Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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