Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
