Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
