There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
