I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
