Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
