We're like a lot better than the average bears
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
