it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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