i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
