no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize