I saw his package. It spoke to me.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
