I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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