i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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