My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
