Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Found the puke drawer
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
